August 04, 2003

Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

Posted by shonk at 12:06 PM in Words of Wisdom | TrackBack

Read the book on Saturday and, though I think I prefer the website (linked at right), I found these bits amusing:

There's a thin line that divides the man you were from the person shuffling around Ikea with a stupid big yellow bag and dead eyes. - pg. 35

'Why do your feminist principles always vaporize when one of us needs to get out of a warm bed and clomp downstairs at three o' clock in the morning?' - pg. 47

There's nothing so heartbreaking as a look of misery on a man with a mustache - as if his face hasn't got enough troubles. - pgs. 59-60

'There is no place for laughter in sex. Sex can survive almost anything else: guilt, the bleak specter of our own mortality, odd noises, imperfect weather conditions, ill-placed components of car interiors. Massive doses of alcohol and drugs which render you utterly unable to perform even the most basic procedures are not only no hindrance to sex but, in fact, increase its likelihood no end. The one thing guaranteed to stop sex dead in its tracks is a laugh. Everything nowadays tries to be a bit of a lark - "The Fun Way to Learn," "The Fun Way to Diet," "The Fun Way to Bank." Well, arse to that. Most stuff isn't fun; the world is eighty percent misery, suffering, injustice and gnawing existential bleakness. A further seventeen percent is sheer, suffocating boredom. That leaves us with a couple minutes of stolen "fun" a week, tops. Far better we spend that fun, I gently suggest, somewhere other than ruining a potentially serviceable bout of sex by guffawing the erotic frisson away. If you want a head-spinning whirlpool of desire, hunger, madness and ecstasy, then let's have sex - if you want a bit of fun, play bleeding Pictionary or something.' - pg. 208

Perceptive chap, eh?