Is This On?

Posted by shonk at 03:46 AM in Ramblings | TrackBack

So, right. This is my new blog. The way I see it, it's pretty much guaranteed to be the stereotypical weblog: filled with unfunny deadpan comments, infrequently updated, read only by the writer.

In fact, that's pretty much how I pitched it to my host. I said, "I'd like to start up a self-centered, insular blog with more links to people who are actually funny than content, rarely if ever updated and dedicated primarily to offending the sorts of idiots that would plunk down $15 a year to a hosting company for the privilege of a public soapbox."

And the host said, "Will there be tittie?"

I hadn't quite thought of that, but I said, "Sure."

So host says, "What are these titties going to do?"

I, of course, responded, "Uh...jiggle?"

BOOM! Server space falls into my lap, and all of a sudden, I'm a blogger.

"Jiggling titties," the host said, "who'da thunk it? We've been waiting for you here in the blogosphere. I just can't give you enough server space."

And all these years I'd been coming up with content outlines, preparing reams of links, writing satire; little did I know it would be as simple as " 'Will there be tittie?' 'Sure' ".

(At this point, Bill Hicks is rolling over in his grave, both because of the unfunny adaptation of his bit and because it remains extra-parenthetically unattributed)

Actually, if you replace the phrase "Will there be tittie?" with the phrase "Will you have content?" the above scenario becomes far more accurate. That, and my host is much cooler than that. Check her out.

Anyway, by now I hope to have attracted both the acne-scarred male adolescent masturbators of the world desperately Googling "jiggling titties" and the twenty-something college-radio hacks trying to dig up the dirt on Bill's latest posthumous live album. If so, I figure I'm pretty much in my element.

Seriously, though, give me a few days to get the layout straightened out.